Part 6 – Personal Development

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people, and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. That is to have succeeded.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Congratulations on having completed some of the most fundamental and powerful exercises to having a successful, balanced life full of purpose, meaning and direction. If you do not feel that you are right on top of your major life’s purpose, and certain you now have the understanding and keys you were looking for to create your dream life then do not worry. Please remember that all we have talked about is a process, a process that will become crystal clear as you move toward your goals and develop the habits of success. The miracle and magic takes place in the journey, in the discovery of who you are and the unique contribution you can make in this world.

We all want the same things. We all want to be happy, feel secure, peace of mind, health and wealth. We simply all want to be successful and have a purposeful and meaningful life. There is no one answer, there is no one way, it is simply a process of growth and you have learned some of the very core fundamentals to moving along in that process. You are now a better equipped, focused, purposeful human being with some key strategies to being effective, efficient and productive on that journey. Many of the characteristics in the upcoming pages you will already be on top of from having set your goals. Some you will know are obstacles that have hindered you in the past and there will be many you didn’t expect that will arise as lessons to make you wiser and stronger. Consider the following characteristics as it applies to you.

Characteristics of Failure
It is from our failures that we learn life’s most valuable lessons. Nobody should be afraid of failure but we seem to avoid it at all costs. The founder of IBM was interviewed once and asked what is the quickest way to succeed? His reply was “double your rate of failure”. What he was referring to is that we all fail and make mistakes. We continually try things until we get it right and master the lesson. It is part of the process. Thomas Alva Edison, considered to be one of the world’s greatest inventors always recognized the importance of hard work and determination. Before succeeding in 1879 he recalled, “I tested no fewer than 6,000 vegetable growths, and ransacked the world for the most suitable filament material.” It was Edison that said “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”

In the early 1950s a new interstate highway was planned to bypass the town of Corbin. Seeing an end to his business, the Colonel auctioned off his operations. After paying his bills, he was reduced to living on his $105 Social Security checks. Colonel Harland Sanders actively began franchising his chicken business at the age of 65. He traveled across the country by car from restaurant to restaurant, cooking batches of chicken for restaurant owners and their employees. If the reaction was favorable, he entered into a handshake agreement on a deal that stipulated a payment to him of a nickel for each chicken the restaurant sold. By 1964, Colonel Sanders had more than 600 franchised outlets for his chicken in the United States and Canada. That year, he sold his interest in the U.S. company for $2 million to a group of investors including John Y. Brown Jr., who later was governor of Kentucky from 1980 to 1984. Our failures and attempts are our stepping stones to success.

For this particular part of the book I would like to define failure as not getting what you want. If you have failed to get something you want, you have failed. You are not a bad person, you are not stupid you just missed the mark. By the way “missing the mark” is a literal definition of “sin”, and you can take that anyway you want. Nobody wants to fail but many do not realize how subtle it is. Like success, it is the little things added up month after month that will soon benefit you or rob you of the joys of life. Procrastination, laziness, indecision, pride and arrogance, mocking and destructive criticism, constant complaining, and neglect are the big ones, especially neglect.

Neglect is a disease; it’s a subtle attitude that will lead you right into the formula for failure. Should do it, could do it, don’t do it. Here is a simple analogy we can all relate to. Bacteria can be defined as an alien hostile life force with an agenda to take over a host system for its own survival. These are germs which look for openings in the skin like a cut or a scrape.  Now if you get a little infection (bacteria) on this cut or opening you can go to the medicine cabinet and pour a little rubbing alcohol on it or wash it and it probably won’t turn into much. If you neglect to treat that infection, it is likely it to grow until you are going to have to see a doctor to get antibiotics because your immune system has been penetrated and compromised. That’s the disease of neglect. It starts as a little infection and if we don’t deal with it, it will grow and spread until it robs you of all of life’s values, happiness, joys and successes. Neglect is a disease and if you neglect to do wise things with one area of life like bacteria it spreads to other areas which is why we so often see people who failed mess up every area of life.

Procrastination is an obvious major killer in life but we also have to watch out for majoring in minor things. I know many people including myself who had worked very hard at different jobs but still failed. Just because we are busy and work hard does not mean success. In fact, as we described in activity planning and time management we must identify the high value activities if we are to make measurable progress. Working on low result activities is a sure way to miss the mark. This is why we spend lots of time to create clarity on our goals and plans for their attainment. “Failing to plan is planning to fail” as basketball hall-of-fame coach John Wooden would say.

Finally don’t be afraid to admit a mistake. One of the worst things we can do is try to hide, cover up or pretend that its not a mistake. The best thing that one can do is admit something was a mistake and change immediately. Brian Tracy claims that 70% of our decisions turn out to be wrong in the long run so as soon as you have identified a mistake, cut your losses and move to the next decision. This falls in line with not being able to admit that you don’t know something. Ignorance is not bliss and arrogance is one of the worst of human qualities. Being arrogant and un-teachable can be fatal to one’s progress and even psychologically prevent you from personal growth. This usually stems from poor attitude, insecurity or low self esteem or self image.